Retribution
by Gemdrive
Summary: Sequel to Recovery: Leo's finally showing signs that things are looking up, now he's convinced that he's ready to face his demons and make Saki pay for all that he's done.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I know that I haven't been around for such a long time, my life has been rather hectic and it's caused an extreme case of Writer's Block that pretty much stopped me from writing anything at all. I wrote this tonight whilst I had the evening off and it's the first thing I've written for months, I hope it's okay and that it's enjoyable. :)

A quick thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter of Recovery, I really appreciate them all, they make my day. Thank you:)

And a quick apology to Pi90katana for forgetting to reply to her review, I'm so sorry :(

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT or any related characters, I simply borrow them for fun. They are the property of Mirage, 4 Kids, and anyone else who has legal rights.

* * *

Retribution

Chapter 1

"I want to go topside... Alone" It was a simple request, nothing special. At least, it wouldn't have been if it were one of his brothers that asked for permission. But alas, Leonardo's circumstances were different and he found it very uncomfortable whilst he stood before his father who merely stared at him in surprise. Splinter would not agree, he knew that already, but if he didn't ask then Splinter would never be aware of his desire to leave the lair without an escort. It was true that whenever Leo left their home, a brother would be by his side always insuring his safety, a habit that he was beginning to find irritating. After all, he considered himself to be as good as his brothers were and should be permitted to leave when he chose to, it wasn't much to ask, was it?

"Absolutely not." Came Splinter's firm reply, "You are not ready to leave unaccompanied, it is still too soon for you."

Leonardo didn't hide the angered expression and Splinter was momentarily surprised, he said nothing as he waited for his eldest son to speak his protest.

"But Sensei, I am ready, I've been training for a long time now and I know I can handle myself should I be forced to confront any of the Foot." Leo's arms folded together in a sign of retaliation and his posture stiffened, Splinter allowed his son to bristle knowing that he simply wanted to prove that he was ready.

"You may be ready physically, but do you believe that you are ready in mind? You have come a long way and I do not wish to see our enemies undo everything that you have achieved." Splinter said softly, his tone lightening to placate his son's anger.

Leo mumbled something that Splinter didn't hear, "What was that, my son?"

"Nothing." He replied, his head dropping quickly, "I just want some space, I feel so confined. What could it hurt for just an hour topside?"

"Eight months of your life were taken from you, you endured pain and suffering at the hands of our enemy…"

"I know what they did to me!" Leo snapped, "Don't think that I'd forget that so soon!"

"Leonardo!" Splinter replied sharply, his eyes burned into Leo's harshly for his outburst, but he soon found his temper easing, his anger at his son short lived simply because he knew that Leo would always find his past sensitive, it was an understandable reaction but even this son would not be permitted to speak to him in such a fashion.

"I do not appreciate your tone, and I will not permit you to do so again but you must understand that I care for you and I do not wish to lose you once more. The first time was hard enough for all of us."

Leo sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping tiredly. "You don't trust me."

Splinter's eyebrow raised surprisingly, "How could you even think that? Of course I trust you."

"Then why won't you let me breathe? You're smothering me!" Leo found his voice raising once more, he began to care little for his tone as Splinter refused him continuously. "You force me to have a nursemaid whenever I leave the lair, I can't move without someone asking me what I'm doing. Even my brothers can't get on with their lives because you force them to stick with me all the time!"

"They choose to stay with you! They care so much that they give up their time to ensure that you have everything that you want!" Splinter stood sharply and faced his son, the anger apparent on his face as he grew frustrated with Leo.

"Everything I want?" Leo spat, "What I want is to spend some time alone topside!"

"Have you heard nothing of what I have said to you? It is dangerous for you to go alone, you are still too vulnerable!"

They were getting nowhere, each so set in their ways that they both knew it was pointless to continue. Leo let out an angered huff and turned to leave without waiting for Splinter's word to do so.

"I have not given you permission to leave!"

"I don't care!"

With that, Leo stormed out of Splinter's room.

* * *

Don watched as Leo headed straight for his room, his angered pace and frustrated expression coupled with the argument that was heard throughout the lair forced him to head for Splinter's room.

He knocked gently and heard a depleted voice call back, "Come in, Donatello."

Don smiled at his father's ever impressive senses, that and the mental training that enabled him to know who was standing by his door. He quietly eased the door open and walked inside noticing his Father sitting in his meditative position in the centre of the room, he approached softly and smiled.

"You heard?" Splinter said, although he didn't need to ask the question.

"Yes." Don replied.

Splinter sighed, "He isn't ready and yet he believes that he is, I do not like containing him like this, it is… harsh."

"I know, and I respect your position, I don't want anything to happen to him if he's left alone and gets into trouble." Don said softly, "But if we keep him wrapped up in a blanket it'll slow his healing process down. He's come so far and this is the last hurdle for him to get over, he needs to know that he can confront the demons that haunt him at night."

Splinter remained silent so Don continued, "He still has nightmares about the Foot and Saki, that's really what this is about. I think he's hoping that he'd get the opportunity to face them so that he can see how he deals with it. It's the fact that he doesn't know how he'll react that scares him."

"You are right, Donatello. As always." Splinter smiled warmly at his intellectual son, "This old rat is too protective, isn't he?"

"We all are, it's natural." Don smiled back, "None of us want to go through that again, but we can't spend our life hiding from it. The truth is, Leo needs this and we're holding him back. I think you should let Leo have his freedom, let him leave the lair."

"No." Splinter said quietly, "Not alone."

"He won't be alone, we'll be following him from a distance and he'll get the freedom that he wants. He won't even know we're there." Don chuckled at the look on Splinter's face, his Sensei seemed surprised at Don's suggestion that they secretly follow their brother and allow him to believe that he is 'alone'.

"You would willingly lie to your brother in that way?"

"I'm just as protective as you are, I'm simply compromising to allow both you and Leo to get what you want."

Splinter nodded his approval, "It is a good suggestion, one that I think would work nicely. Thank you, my son."

"No problem, Dad."

* * *

Leo lifted his head from the pillow when there was a knock on his bedroom door, "Yeah?"

"It's me, Leo." Don replied gently, "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Another dejected voice, Don noted. As he entered he smiled warmly, "You okay?"

"Depends," Leo replied, "What's up?"

"I thought you might like to know that I spoke with Splinter, he's willing to let you go topside for a little while, no more than an hour though."

"Alone? I doubt that." Leo replied sharply, "He just told me that there wasn't a chance in hell."

"Well I spoke to him, he's considered it further and he'll allow it for a short while, just long enough to see how you cope. But if you find yourself in any trouble, any at all, you've got to get out of there as fast as you can."

Leo couldn't believe that Don was capable of swaying Splinter so fast, there had to be more to it, "What's the catch?"

Don raised his hands defensively, "No catch. You just have to keep your cell on you so that we know where you are, and if there's any trouble you hit the alarm button and we'll be with you within minutes."

Leo raised an eye ridge, "Within minutes, huh? Something tells me that I won't be as alone as I think."

"Yes you will," Don affirmed, "We won't be anywhere near you, but we will be ready if you need us."

Leo didn't think that that was so bad, at least they weren't connected by the hip and he was allowed to go alone. He gave Don a smile and patted his arm, "What would I do without you?"

"Oh I don't know, no television, no hot showers, no coffee…" Don chuckled.

"The coffee's your thing, I don't like the stuff." Leo laughed.

* * *

They allowed their brother a head start, Don used the tracking device to keep a check on his location but they didn't get too close. Leo wanted freedom and it wouldn't do to have him discover his family had been tailing him, it would most likely cause Leo to lose trust in them.

Don could understand his frustration and personally, he wanted to know how Leo dealt with this situation just as much as Leo did himself. He wanted his brother to be himself again and he knew that that was a lot to ask, it was selfish of him to want it and he knew that there was little possibility of Leo fully recovering. He'd always be slightly different but that wouldn't make his family love him any less, he would always be a fighter.

"Where is he now?"

Don broke from his thoughts as Raph pulled on his shoulder to see the tracking device in his hands, he tilted it a little so that his brothers could see. "From the look of it, he's heading to Central Park." Don replied.

"Do we go there?" Mike asked.

Don shook his head, "We're close enough to reach him if things go crazy, I don't think we have to worry."

* * *

Leo breathed deep, the air being cool and refreshing. The freedom he felt here was amazing and he could stay here forever, but he knew that his time was limited so he did his best to enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted. He had to duck for cover when a couple walked past, but there was little threat, the lovers walked hand in hand whilst staring into each other's eyes and whispered loving words between them.

When they had walked a safe distance away, Leo continued to walk, his pace as casual as those that had just walked by. He intended to enjoy this time away from his family, not that he hated them or found them irritating, but simply because he felt crushed by their concern, a heavy weight on his chest whenever they asked him if he was okay, or where he was going, what he was doing.

It seemed that only minutes had gone by and he glanced at the clock on his cell, he let out a sigh as he realised that he should head back to avoid being late for his curfew. As he turned he heard a scream, then a man's voice yelling, without thought he quickly turned in the direction of the sound and made his way quickly towards the source.

He ducked behind a tree when he noticed the pair that had passed him earlier, but this time they weren't alone. Three men were with them, two holding the man to the ground forcing his head to make him look towards the third and the woman he was with. The third man was trying his best to rip the woman's clothes whilst trying to stop her flailing arms and legs and keep her from screaming out.

Leo started to move but held back for a moment, his eyes drifted to the cell that was tucked into his belt, he reached for it with the intention of calling his brothers for help but stopped inches away from it. He could handle three thugs on his own, he told himself.

He ran towards the group with as little sound as possible, not willing to give away his advantage. Bowling into the two that held the man, they all tumble to the ground in a heap, his elbow hits one man hard and he hears and feels the bone break, he slams his elbow back again and the thug slumps to the ground, out cold. The other doesn't seem phased as he jumps onto Leo with heavy force, his fist reaching up to strike Leo's chin. Leo wasn't fast enough to block the first punch but quickly blocked the second and returned the favour with a harsh blow to his opponent's ribs. Not wasting any time, he rolls to a stand and kicks out hard, the blow sending the thug into a refreshing darkness.

Leo searched for the third but found that the now free man had recovered enough to take the thug down and console his partner, she wept frantically and the man allowed a small nod of appreciation before whisking his partner away from the ruckus. Leo smiled back, pleased that his help had not gone unnoticed before getting on his way.

He had only travelled a short distance when more trouble came his way, had he known that the noise would attract them like vultures to fresh meat, he would have made his departure a lot faster. The fact that he suddenly felt a terrifying shiver reverberate through his body filled him with a level of fear that he hadn't felt for sometime, and within seconds of their arrival he found himself hitting the button on his cell.

* * *

"What's going on?" Raph asked with concern.

"He's in trouble." Don answered quickly, taking off down the street as fast as he could, Raph and Mike hot on his heels.

They had only been roughly half a mile away and reached Leo's position quickly, they found their brother fighting furiously against a small number of the Foot, Mike counted six.

It was obvious that Leo had taken some blows and was leaning heavily on his right leg, his expression was determined but there was something in his eyes that gave away his hidden fright. Raph and Mike barrelled forward yelling a cry, Don vaulted over a wall of Foot and landed next to Leo.

"You okay?" He yelled over the sounds of the fight, Leo nodded and dropped back leaving Raph and Mike to take down the remaining opponents, "I'm fine, just a little bruised."

Don didn't take it further, there was a time and a place to talk about 'other' things and right now they had to deal with the problem at hand.

After the last of the Foot had dropped to the ground, the brothers quickly departed and headed for home. Don found himself imagining Splinter's reaction to the events of the evening, and could see how his Sensei would be angry that he had agreed to Don's suggestion, maybe he'd even be angry at Don for coming up with the idea in the first place.

As if reading Don's mind, Leo draped his arm around his shoulder, "He's not going to blame you for this." He whispered, "He knew it would happen, it was just a case of when."

Don forced a smile, 'Yeah,' he thought, 'can't help but blame myself though.'

* * *

AN: There we have it, the first chapter with hopefully more coming soon, please let me know how I did, pretty please :) 


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Everyone's going to read this and scratch their heads thinking 'what the hell is going on'. It's been so long since I've updated this and even though I've gone over and over it, I still think it's not all right. I had such a hard time writing this and I hope I haven't made a complete ass of myself and ruined the fic.

Apologies for not updating sooner, life has been a little... messy. Yeah, that's a good way to describe it I think. I pretty much forced myself to write this because I need to find my focus again, my jumbled brain needs some exercise away from life's quirky torment, it really doesn't know what it's doing so I'm trying to give it some direction.

Thank you for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate critisim on this story, (especially this chapter since it's been so long since I've written anything).

(Reads AN) Wow, doesn't that all sound so gloomy? I need to take some happy pills or something. (sighs)

** Disclaimer: **I don't own any related characters to Mirage's TMNT, I merely write crappy fics about them for amusement purposes only.

* * *

Chapter 2

The darkened room was decorated in ornate Japanese design, tatami mats adorned the floor to provide some warmth and a low table sat near the far wall. A figure sat by this table, the candles providing small light but enough to show the dark haired, well built figure of a man dressed in traditional garments of comfort. The room was bathed in light as the door opened and the ninja stepped inside, he bowed in respect even though the only other occupant had his back to him.

"Master."

Saki rose silent and graceful, turning towards his warrior, "What is it?"

"We heard a commotion coming from Central Park, upon investigation we discovered Leonardo helping a young couple who were attacked by three street thugs. He was sloppy enough to allow one of them to gain advantage over him but quickly recovered, we waited for the couple to leave before launching our attack. He didn't fair well against us but his brothers arrived before we could subdue him, they seemed intent on retreat." The ninja reported.

"Tell me all that you know." Saki commanded with a sneer on his face.

"He looked frightened of us for a moment, he still seems weakened by your treatments but his family have obviously helped him recover. Our confrontation may have caused him some injury as he appeared to be limping somewhat, I believe he is still vulnerable.

Saki stood silent, his sneer forming into a grin.

"Master, if I may be so bold, why do you want this one so badly?"

"You _are_ being bold," he replied, "but I shall answer your question. He has angered me, I gave him the opportunity to join me and fight at my side but he refused. I do not take kindly to rejection and I will not allow him to humiliate me as he did."

"But why not simply kill him? Why do you insist on tormenting him?"

Saki's anger grew at his ninja's questioning, "Because I _can_. No one is allowed to make a fool of me, especially one so young." Saki stepped forward, "I am tired of waiting, it has been too long. Draw them out, bring them to the surface."

"How, Master?"

"The woman, April O' Neil, if her life is threatened they will come."

* * *

Splinter was not pleased, he knew that something like this would happen and regretted allowing them to leave the lair. He felt anger welling up inside at Saki, his games were testing his family to their limits and he didn't want to play them anymore. This would have to come to an end soon or the damage would be irreparable, the wariness was already showing on his young sons as they all sat about the lair silently. All except Leonardo who was sent to bed shortly after they had retuned home, he didn't want to go but Splinter wasn't about to let him argue with him.

He studied each of his sons; Raphael and Michelangelo sat on the sofa with the TV switched on but not really watching it, both seemed deep in thought. His other son however sat as near as he could to Leonardo's closed bedroom door, the blame he felt for convincing Splinter to let Leo go out alone was weighing heavily on him. Splinter sighed and approached him, his footsteps light on the concrete floor, "You are troubled."

Don jumped a little when his father spoke then looked up from his seated position, "No, Sensei. I'm fine."

"I do not believe that, no one is to blame for tonight's events especially not you. We are all troubled and tired but you insist on neglecting your sleep. You hold a vigil over your brother as you have done since this all began, you need rest as well my son."

Donatello sighed and slowly closed his eyes, "Leo needs me, and I have to be there for him."

"As do we all, you do not carry this alone. You have done well with your efforts to aid Leonardo's recovery and I will not allow you to blame yourself for something you believe is a bad judgement, you had only the best of intentions in mind for both him and all of us."

"I put him in danger, I should've known that the Foot would be out there looking for trouble but still I convinced you to allow Leo some space." Don sighed dejectedly.

"You were not to know that he would have encountered trouble, and Leonardo was insistent that he leave the safety of the lair. Whatever we believe to be best for him, we cannot hold him back, I believe that is something you told me before this event occurred." Splinter smiled softly and placed his hand on Don's slumped shoulder. "I will tend to him should he need anything, you will go to bed and sleep."

Don gave a warm smile in return and knew that this was the end of the discussion, Splinter would drag him off to bed if need be, but his reluctance to go anywhere showed through the mask and he admitted defeat. He stood and embraced Splinter, "You'll call me the moment anything happens, the smallest thing."

Splinter smiled and returned the comforting gesture, "Of course."

* * *

_They were everywhere, chasing him through the park, taunting him with howls and screams. Their large eyes and mouth-less masks had been replaced with white sightless orbs and gnashing teeth, drool slid down the corners of their wide gaping mouths that sought to devour his flesh. Their gloved hands now bore hideous sharp talons that scratched at his body, determined to draw him in and rip him to shreds. He dropped to his knees and curled into a ball, his arms wrapping around his head in a weak attempt to protect himself and shut them out. He rocked back and forth muttering over and over again that this was a dream, it _had_ to be a dream!_

_A sudden deafening silence descended upon him and he slowly uncurled, as he looked around he no longer found himself in the park with his evil tormentors pursuing him, yet he felt no relief now that the monsters had disappeared. Now he found himself in a far worse place, a living hell that came close to destroying him._

_Oh God, no…_

_The white room… His prison…_

"_NO!"_

'_Please let me be alone,' he said to himself, 'don't let him be here…'_

"_Leonardo."_

_He cowered, "No, no, no…"_

"_I knew you would come back to me."_

Leo turned reluctantly to face the figure that stood behind him, he pleaded within himself to stay strong, to not allow this one true monster to frighten him.

"_You'll always come back. You need me." Saki's sick grin caused an involuntary shudder to coarse through Leo, he shuffled away quickly but found that he could only move a short distance. As he looked down, he noticed the chain and drew his hand up to touch it, moving slowly towards his neck and the collar he knew would be there. He looked at Saki's hand and the end of the chain that was wrapped around his knuckles, Saki pulled up sharply and Leo was forced to his feet, his face within inches of this cruel monster's._

_Leo's whimpers caused Saki to smile horridly, "You belong to me."_

Leo writhed frantically in his bed, his body arching up and thrashing around, he whimpered and cried as the tears joined the sweat that soaked his pillow and he kicked out at the blankets that tangled around his legs.

_Saki winched the chain around his knuckles, slowly and deliberately pulling Leo closer to him. Leo's shaking arms reached out and pushed against Saki's chest, his whole body protesting in opposition to his tormentor's efforts. "Please stop this."_

_Suddenly his ears were assaulted with screams and cries, his eyes widened and he twisted awkwardly against the collar. His family were scattered around him, their bodies torn and battered. Donatello's crumpled form lay face down in a pool of his own blood, his severed arm a few feet away. Raphael's body draped protectively over the broken body of their father, both awash with blood and Raphael impaled by a katana in the back of his neck and following through into the body of his Sensei. Michelangelo had collapsed onto his carapace, his head connected only by a small amount of flesh at the back of his neck. Their faces were cold, eyes lifeless. The smell of death permeated the room and caused Leo to shudder and force back the rising bile in his throat. They were scattered around him, dead and unmoving…And Leo stood there, too shocked to move._

_Saki laughed as he yanked on the chain._

"_You may not be with me anymore, but I can still torture you. Every night you sleep I'll come back and haunt you, every night I'll murder your family in front of you, and every night you will wear this collar, sit in this room and stare at my face. Living will become a nightmare, you'll be begging me to make it stop."_

_The tears flowed down his face in waves as his body shook so much that it hurt, "Please… Why are you doing this to me?"_

"_I'll torture your family and mutilate their bodies, you'll watch and eventually you'll help me do it." Saki's laugh grew louder; it echoed off of the walls and became ear shattering, his voice was the only thing Leo could hear._

_Leo wrapped his hands around his head, unable to drop to his knees with Saki's grip on the chain he gave in to Saki's strength and fell limp. The collar choked him as it held him almost upright, his knees several inches from the floor . _

"_NOOOOO!"_

Leo's entire body tensed and arched up from the bed, his face had contorted in fear and pain and his knuckles turned white with the grip he held tightly around crumpled parts of the bed linen. "NOOOOO!"

"_The torture will not end unless you want it to, and you know what you have to do to make it stop." Saki hissed into his ear._

The door flew open and smacked hard into the wall and Mike ran immediately towards Leo's frantic form, he reached out and gripped his brother's flailing arms and pushed them against his chest in an attempt to hold him still. Leo thrashed wildly and Mike quickly slipped his arm beneath Leo's shoulders, pulling him into an uncomfortable embrace.

"Leo, it's okay! Shh! Come on, it's alright." He didn't like the raised tone of his own voice but it was difficult to be heard over Leo's whimpering cries. As he worked to calm him down from the nightmare, Don and Splinter came rushing in.

"Mike?"

"It's alright, you're okay now. Shh." Mike looked up to Don sadly, "he was going crazy when I came in-"

Leo suddenly woke with a start and launched himself at Mike, his arms wrapping tight around his neck. Don approached and knelt down by the bed, he draped his arm around Leo's shoulder and drew in close, "it's going to be okay, Leo."

Leo reached out for Don as well and pulled him into the embrace, his grip was crushing and Don and Mike looked at each other ominously. Neither could hold their expressions of concern and fear and Don couldn't stop his eyes from welling up with tears, they didn't like seeing Leo like this and after all this time they thought they never would see it again.

"Don't leave me, please. Stay here with me, I can't be alone. Don't leave me alone with him." Leo rambled with the confusion of sleep, half believing that Saki was still in the room with him and hoping that the closeness with his family would make him go away.

"It wasn't real, my son." Splinter said softly as he moved towards the huddled group of turtles, "You are safe here."

Leo pulled away from his brothers but only to reach towards his father, the need was strong to feel the protection of a parent comforting a small child in fright. Splinter gratefully embraced his son and stroked his brow, "You are safe, I promise you. No one can hurt you here."

"Make him stop, make him stop hurting me." The quiet pleas brought tears to Splinter's eyes, he sounded so innocent and fragile much like his son had regressed into his youth. Leo's tears dropped onto Splinter's furry neck and Splinter held him tighter, he didn't know what to say and simply hoped that his son would calm in his arms.

After a moment, Splinter scowled. "We will put an end to this, my son. Saki will stop his cruelty to you if it is the last thing I do." The anger welled up inside of him, he couldn't stand to see his son in so much pain and Saki would indeed pay for all that he's done.

* * *

"Why now? At the farmhouse he was okay and now he's freaking out again, what's changed?" Mike said as he paced back and forth in the living room. Donatello sat on the sofa with his head in his hands as Raphael watched the bedroom door of Leo's room; Splinter had taken some herbal tea to him and from the smell as he passed them earlier it would help Leo to sleep.

"It has to be the fight; it's triggered some sort of relapse or something. I thought it would help him but I was wrong." Don sat back on the couch and let out a frustrated sigh, "I should've listened to Splinter, he knew that Leo wasn't ready but I talked him into it."

"Your brother was aware of the risk, in the end it was his choice and now he has learned that he still needs time." Three sets of concerned faces turned towards their Master as he silently pulled Leonardo's bedroom door closed, "We cannot control him like a child; he must deal with his fears when he feels he can regardless of the result."

"He could've been killed tonight!" Mike replied frustratingly.

"They don't want him dead," Raph stood from the sofa and walked towards Splinter, "He wants him back so he can torture him all over again, he hasn't finished what he started with Leo 'cause we got him outta there and helped him get through it all. That bastard sees it as a second chance."

Splinter nodded, "You are correct, Raphael. He does indeed want your brother back, something we shall not allow. However, we cannot keep him here forever and I believe Saki will be searching for us all, it is dangerous for us to stay here."

"Should we go back to the farmhouse?"

Don stood up slowly, "I don't think that's a good idea, Mike. Leo's not going to be able to heal properly if we keep going back there, I know it sounds like it's in Leo's best interests to do it but it'll only hold him back and right now he needs to keep pushing forward. I know Leo feels like he's ready to push himself and we promised to let him move at his own pace, he's pushing himself now and after that nightmare he needs to keep pushing otherwise he'll end up taking two steps back."

"But they're searching the city for us, if we so much as stick our heads outside a manhole there's going to be a dozen Foot ninja on top of us. We could take them down but Leo wouldn't stand a chance and we can't keep him cooped up in here for the rest of his life."

"Then we take the fight to them, pound 'em hard and fast and make them leave him the _hell_ alone." Raph punched his fist into the palm of his hand for emphasis.

Don shook his head, "That's a suicide mission, we wouldn't stand a chance."

"But it is a risk that we may have to take." Splinter replied and watched as Mike and Don stared wide-eyed at him.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I occasionally write stories about them for fun.

AN: Thanks to spootycup, Digmon girl, Tewi, jaunt, Pi90katana and Ivory novelist for their kind reviews. I truly don't deserve them, you're all too kind. :)

WARNING: Some occasional swearing in this chapter, Raph and Leo need their mouths washing out with soap.

Chapter 3

Mike watched Leo closely as he sat staring at his plate, his elbow leaning on the table whilst the other forcefully scraped the food from the plate onto the fork and into his mouth. He sighed dejectedly at Leo's obvious anger, not really too sure where it came from and knowing that it would incite his brother's anger further, he leaned forward and smiled. "You okay, Leo?"

"I'm fine." Came the curt reply.

"You sure? 'Cause you don't look like you're fine."

"I _said _I'm _fine._" Leo replied sternly.

Silence descended the room once again and Mike spared a glance towards Don, who returned the same tired and worn expression. That was the end of it; the meal would be another silent affair.

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

_Oh boy, here we go. _Mike suddenly became far more interested in his own plate. He heard the distinct clatter of a fork thrown down onto the table.

"Excuse me?" Leo's voice was pitching lower every time he spoke; only highlighting the fact that he wasn't in any mood to be sociable.

"What? You're deaf as well now? I said, 'what crawled up your ass and died?'" Raphael's own cutlery was laid to rest as he faced Leo at the opposite end of the table.

"I heard what you said, what's your problem?" Leo responded sharply.

"My problem?" Raph scoffed, "I ain't the one who snapped at Mike for a small question of concern."

"I did not _snap_ at Mike!"

"It sure sounded like it from here!"

"Mike," Don interjected, "this meal's great, I don't recall having this before, is it new?"

Mike glanced up from his plate and wasn't oblivious to Don's attempt at distraction, "Yeah, I saw it on one of those cookery shows on TV, thought it looked good."

Don nodded approvingly, "It is. You've excelled yourself on this one-"

"So it's okay for you to be in a funk but no one else? We've all got to be good little boys except for you, is that it?" Leo's palms slapped against the table and he stood glaring down at his red banded brother.

"Sit your ass back down and finish your food! Mike didn't slave over the stove for you to walk out and leave it for the trash!"

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"

"The way you're acting, it feels like I'm talking to a five-year-old!"

The two stared at each other, a silent battle of wills flowing between them. "Now you know how we all feel when _you're_ acting up. I'll do you a favour and leave since you obviously don't like my mood right now!" He turned quickly and headed for the door.

"Leo." Raph growled in warning moments before the door slammed shut.

* * *

Since dinner, the lair had an atmosphere that could be cut with a knife, Don and Mike resigned themselves to their rooms with nothing to do but contemplate what happened in the kitchen hours earlier. Whereas Raph spent the evening in the dojo working out the frustrations that had built up, he punched the bag into oblivion, performed every kata he knew over and over again and still he couldn't shift the annoyance he felt at Leo. Why had his mood turned so suddenly? Last night he was whimpering like a child and now he snapped at anyone who rubbed him up the wrong way. He was going to get his answers out of Leo one way or another. 

When he heard someone walking across the living room towards the kitchen, he knew exactly who it was; Raphael huffed and steeled himself as he walked out of the dojo.

Leo stood leaning against the sink with a glass of water in hand, he glanced up briefly at Raph as he entered and quickly finished his drink, not wanting to talk to him. As he headed for the door Raph stopped him with a hand to his chest, "We need to talk."

"Not in the mood."

"Tough shit, 'cause we're talking whether you like it or not."

Leo shoved Raph's hand aside but Raph reacted fast and pushed his brother against the wall, his hands gripping Leo's shoulders tight.

"I'm sick of this attitude of yours; now either you start talking or I'm gonna beat you until you do."

"Go ahead, I don't care." Leo replied with a growl, his eyes turning dark.

Before Raph even had time to blink he found himself flat against the table with Leo's arm across his throat, "You think you can take me down, Raph? Come on then, show me just how good you are!"

The punch to his face hurt but Raph didn't let it show, he hit back just as hard and brought his knee up to Leo's stomach doubling him over for a moment. He used that time to stand and rush his blue banded brother, piling into him and forcing them both to the ground. They grappled harshly, kicking and punching and trying to overpower the other, Raphael was surprised at the determination he was feeling from Leo. His whole body screamed how wrong this was, he knew his brother couldn't possibly best him because he still wasn't ready if ever it came down to it. Still, his own anger had peaked and he was going to prove to Leo just how unprepared he really was.

"You think you're ready? You think you can beat me? You couldn't even take April down with your crappy fighting, you know that?" Raph slapped Leo hard before following with another punch to his side causing Leo to retaliate.

Raph dodged to the side easily avoiding Leo's attack. "Sloppy!" He screamed, "You couldn't punch your way outta a paper bag, how the hell can you believe you're ready to beat me in a fight?"

"Shut up!"

Leo clenched his fists and charged towards Raph, the two collided and the fight quickly moved into the living room as Raph pushed Leo out of the kitchen, the ambience in their home changed rapidly as the two battled it out. Raphael was sure he could hear the remaining members of his family leaving their rooms, probably curious and concerned at the shouts and crashes that they were producing, he didn't spare them a glance knowing it would be dangerous to look away from Leo for a minute.

"Guys! What the hell are you doing?" Mike began to rush towards the two furious brothers but was stopped by the raised arm of his Sensei; he spared a glance at him to see that Splinter was watching his elder brothers intently.

"I thought you said you could take me! You're not doing a damn good job, are you?" Raph yelled as he easily blocked the punches that Leo was throwing at him.

Leo growled and bared his teeth, the strain of the fight had already begun to show on him and he still wouldn't give in; he kicked out and Raph dodged it easily spinning with it and coming up behind Leo.

Raph wrapped his arms around his enraged brother and held him tight, Leo resisted but couldn't break the hold so he threw his head back and tried to knock his brother away. Raph ducked to the side and returned with a kick to the back of Leo's knee, toppling his brother to the ground but still keeping his grip on him.

"Still think you can beat me? Huh?" he shook Leo hard in the bear hug, "You can't even get out of this, can you?"

"Fuck you!" Leo continued to struggle, his arms were pinned to his sides and his knees were tucked beneath him, it left him trapped. He didn't like to be trapped.

"Let me go!" He screamed, "Get off of me! Let me go!"

"Not until you calm down." Raph replied, "And not until I know you're not gonna swing around and try to take my head off as soon as I do."

"Raph let him go." Don calmly walked towards the two that were huddled in the middle of the room, "He doesn't like that, you're upsetting him."

Raph looked up at Don surprised, "You talking about the same turtle that's been trying to tear me apart? He's the one that wanted to prove he could beat me, now we know he can't. He can't beat me, and he certainly ain't ready to beat Shredder."

Leo's eyes narrowed in pure fury and he swung his head back at the unprepared Raph, the impact of their heads echoed throughout the room but it didn't stop Leo from snatching the sai from his brother's belt and wrestling him to the ground. The sai was pressed hard against Raph's throat and he stared at Leo in both shock and fear, his brother's face told him that Leo could very easily move his weapon just that little more and _really_ hurt him.

"Leo!" Don's eyes widened. He stepped forward, his arms held out in front of him, "Leo, put the sai down."

Leo didn't move, he stared at Raph with a piercing hatred that he had never ever felt before, he was infuriated. Raph also remained motionless, his hands rested palms down on the floor as he allowed his brother a moment to calm down. They stared at each other but Raph soon realised that Leo wasn't staring directly at him; it was like he was staring through him.

"I don't think he can hear you." Raph whispered.

Leo's breathing came short and fast, his eyes staring at nothing and his whole frame shaking in absolute anger. Splinter approached his sons and looked towards Raphael, he acknowledged that he was alright for the moment but his expression didn't show that he was overly confident with that assessment.

"Michelangelo, Donatello, please position yourselves either side of your brothers. Raphael do not move and do not speak, stay perfectly still." Splinter knelt before them both and refrained from reaching out with his hand to Leo, it was too much of a risk to do it with his son currently holding off from killing Raph.

"Leonardo?"

Still there was nothing from Leo, no reaction at all from him.

"Please, Leonardo, you must understand what you are doing. That is your brother, he is not a threat to you, release the weapon."

Raph suddenly felt the sai biting into his skin; he tipped his head back and gasped. "Leo…"

It moved in closer.

"Leo, you're killing me." Raph whispered pleadingly.

Leo's eyes suddenly widened, his grip on the sai loosened and he dropped it. He watched the blood trickling from his brother's neck and pushed himself back in alarm, he scrambled away and numbly felt hands trying to reach for him but he pushed them aside and fled to the bathroom. Someone was calling his name but he didn't respond, he slammed the door shut and locked it before rushing to the toilet and throwing up the food he had eaten earlier that day.

He'd nearly killed his brother.

His own flesh and blood was lying on the living room floor because he had tried to pierce his neck with his brother's own weapon.

His blood.

He collapsed onto the floor and leaned back against the door, his head tipping back and his eyes sliding closed. He breathed deeply in slow steady motions and tried to calm his racing heart.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Leo merely turned his head slightly towards the sound, he opened his eyes for a moment as he waited to find out who it was.

"Leo?" It was Mike, which meant that Don was most likely tending to Raph's injury. "Leo, please open the door."

"Go away." He mumbled back.

There was a pause.

"I can't do that, bro."

Leo saw the door handle move, "Go away, _please_."

"Not until I know you're okay."

"I'm fine," he sighed, "Raph's not, go and check on him."

"He's more worried about you, we all are." Mike's voice was soft and calming, but Leo was definitely not going to open the door no matter how much his brother tried to coax him to.

Leo didn't answer, he decided that if he stayed quiet then Mike just might go away but he knew they wouldn't leave him alone in here for too long. He heard a shuffling sound and whispered voices; someone else was at the door now.

"You gonna open this door or am I gonna have to break the thing down?"

Raph tried to make it sound convincing but even he couldn't hide the worry in his voice. He had let Don wrap his wound and immediately hurried towards the bathroom and his brother, feeling somewhat guilty that he'd allowed the whole thing to go this far. He felt to blame for allowing the fight to get out of hand knowing his elder brother wasn't one hundred percent still. He'd been so tightly wound since Leo's disappearance that with all of the emotional turmoil that was flowing around, he simply had to uncork the bottle. It was just unfortunate that he decided to allow it to do so now; not knowing the true facts about why Leo was so upset and thinking a fist fight would hold all the answers. He was wrong.

"Leo, open this door." He wasn't going to allow the anger to build this time, but he was still going to make sure that he at least got to see his brother before he left him alone. He turned around and slid down to the floor with his shell against the door.

"You can't stay in there forever." Raph started to think he was having a conversation with himself, "Will you at least say something?"

There was a small sound from behind the door but Raph didn't hear it clearly, he turned his head towards the door with a frown, "What?"

"I'm sorry." Came the quiet reply.

Raph sighed, "Yeah, me too."

The silence descended again, neither one wanted to say anything more but both didn't want to move either.

"Let me in." Raph remained leaning against the door, knowing that it was a long shot and that he probably wouldn't do it anyway. When he heard the lock click he pushed himself up and waited for Leo to open the door, as it did he moved inside. Leo wouldn't look him in the face so he reached up and lifted Leo's chin. Leo eyed Raph's bandaged neck.

"I can't believe I did that, I tried to kill you." Leo sounded stunned.

"Yeah, but you didn't. I don't blame you for this." Raph raised his hand to his neck and touched it gently, "You could've hurt me bad but you didn't, you gained control of something that took over you. I pushed you too hard and something happened, what was it?"

Leo turned away and gazed at his reflection in the mirror, "Him."

Raph nodded, "I thought as much."

"I thought I was over the worst of it, the nightmares settled, then after the fight in the park they came back and he was there. I hate him." He spat the last three words.

Raph watched the anger build up in Leo's expression, "We'll get you through this, together as a family."

"Well it better be soon because I don't know how much more I can take."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I make no money from my scribbles and certainly don't intend to. I just thoroughly enjoy playing with them. The turtles are too much fun.

Warning: Minor graphic descriptive content, hardly worth the mention but better to be safe than sorry.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this story so far, and special thanks to those who have reviewed, you're all wonderful.

On with the show…

Chapter 4

Leonardo sat on his bed, his back against the wall with his legs hanging off the side. His arms draped almost lifeless on his thighs and he stared at the opposite wall with disinterest. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and feelings and he struggled in a vain attempt to put them in some kind of order. After working so hard to right himself again, he'd fallen so far. Was he ever going to get through this? Was it ever going to end?

It didn't take much to make him falter and for that, he felt like a failure, his family deserved better, much better.

"_Why not just end it then? Instead of wallowing in self-pity, pick up your sword and do it the honourable way. Saki loses his prize; your family can feel safe again."_

Leo's eyes widened, not again, not after all this time, "no, not now, please."

"_Oh yes, howdy partner, did you miss me?"_

Leo squinted his eyes shut tight, thrusting his palms into the sockets and rubbing vigorously. He shoved his head back against the wall, the pain not even worth the mention as that voice calmly walked back into his tormented life.

"_Oh yeah, that always helps." _It mocked. _"Add that one to the list of injuries you've inflicted lately. Speaking of which, Raphael's gonna have a scar there, you know that right? It's going to be a constant reminder of your incompetence under pressure."_

Leo gritted his teeth, the overwhelming urge to shout at the voice barely being kept in check, "shut the hell up, just shut up." He wrapped his hands around his head in a vain attempt to block out the voice but it merely laughed.

"_You're pathetic."_

A knock on the door distracted him and he welcomed the intervention, the voice falling silent.

"Leonardo? May I enter?" The soothing voice of his Sensei allowed Leo a small smile; at least the voice wouldn't bother him for the moment.

"Yes, Master."

The door opened slowly – cautiously, Leo thought – and Splinter walked inside. As he closed the door behind him, Leonardo shuffled to the edge of the bed ready to stand, but Splinter raised his hand, a silent signal that Leo could stay seated, he perched on the side, his elbows resting on his thighs. Splinter moved towards the bed and spoke softly, "you did not come to dinner tonight and refused the food that Michelangelo brought you, I am concerned, are you not hungry?"

Leo gave a small shake of his head, "no Master, I don't feel like eating right now. I'm feeling a little sick."

A lie.

Although Raphael had tried to convince him that he was fine and didn't hold it against him, Leo had still felt terrible, disgusted in fact, that he could inflict any kind of injury to his family. There were moments when he could face them all, moments when he couldn't and this was definitely one of those moments.

The physical injury wasn't the problem, it was that he couldn't control himself, his reality distorted and masked everything good around him with an evil shroud, one minute he was fine, the next he was in hell. If he had no concept of reality then he was a danger to them all.

"Would you prefer I leave you to rest? Splinter dropped his head with a slight tilt to try to see his son's face, as if aware, Leo turned to the wall.

"_He doesn't know how to deal with you, he thinks you hate him. You're pushing them all away."_

Leo wanted to talk to the voice and tell it to stop but he closed his eyes instead.

Splinter began to turn away, taking his son's silence as confirmation he wasn't wanted.

"_Now look what you've done," _The voice smiled._ "You're really screwed, you know that? Saki can't wait to get his hands on you again; right now, you're easy prey. At this rate you'll be dead within a week; God only knows how you managed eight months."_

Leo's legs began to raise, unconsciously brought tight against his chest. This wasn't his fault, he wasn't to blame. He was trying so hard, doing everything he could. He was doing everything he could, dammit! Why him? Why is this happening to him?

"_They can't save you because you don't want to be saved, you're not really worth it anyway are you? Just another Saki trophy and another deadbeat brother, anyone with any self-respect would just walk up to Saki and take it, take one for the team but not you."_

His hands curled around his head again, tighter than before, crushingly painful but unaware of the pain, just the voice.

"_Oh no, you're too scared to die, old Leo would've been scared of a dishonourable death, you're just scared of death. Just grab the knife you've stashed and put everyone out of their misery, they'd be better off without you, safer, happier. Just use the damn thing! COME ON YOU USELESS SACK OF SHIT! DO IT!"_

"NO!"

His eyes widened as soon as the word left his mouth, he turned slowly unaware of whether Splinter had even managed to reach his door or not, just that he was here now and holding his shoulders tight.

"What is it? What is the matter, my son?"

Leo stared into his father's eyes, the focus and control only partly masking the fear. He could see blurred motion near his door but the motivation was purely ahead of him, a calmness that helped somehow. He was aware of voices, indistinct yet urgent and he knew his cry must have startled someone else but it didn't matter.

"I…" He started with a tremble in his voice, he closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath then slowly releasing, counting each second the air escaped his lungs. He knew his options now, fight and survive, fight and die, surrender to Saki… Or slowly go insane. A one in four chance of happiness, he'd have better luck winning the lottery.

"The voice," he said to no one in particular, "I think I'm coming apart, I'm going crazy again. I've tried so hard…"

"Splinter!"

Leo's door burst open, Raphael stood in the doorway panting, not with exertion, with panic.

"It's April, the Foot are going nuts up there! We're heading out to help her."

Splinter nodded but Raphael was already gone, he turned back to Leonardo and watched as his head dropped.

"Go," he said softly, "they'll need help and I won't be of any use to them."

A sad look fell on Splinter's face and he hesitated, "you will remain here?"

Leo shrugged, "I have nowhere else to go."

Splinter stood and placed his hand on his eldest son's shoulders, "all is not lost, you are strong, I should know, I raised you, taught you, watched you become more than I aspired." He moved in close, "I have faith in you, Leonardo. I chose you to lead this family because of who you are; I know you have the ability to rise above this and do what is right. This family is an intricate unit, one chain broken can be remade, but if that chain were to disappear, another could not replace it, every part as vital as the rest." He smiled warmly and moved towards the door, "we will be back soon."

Splinter spoke the last words as if it were fact, it didn't stop Leo from worrying about them when they left.

* * *

They had been gone for under an hour, in that time they would already be at April's shop and no doubt knee deep in Foot ninja. Leo started to doubt whether it was right to remain at home; maybe a fight where his family were under threat would spur him on and keep him afloat long enough to get everyone home in one piece. It would be worth the risk if it kept them safe, or he'd buckle as soon as he showed his face and put them in jeopardy when they have to drag him out of there in a catatonic state.

"_You never used to be this indecisive, is it a trademark for crazies nowadays?"_

Oh for God sakes, "Sometimes I really wish I could lobotomise you."

"_That's a little drastic, don't you think?" _

A laugh, "Whatever works."

"_Yeah, if you wanna be a vegetable go right ahead. I'm sure your brothers would enjoy feeding you and cleaning your ass like a baby."_

Another laugh, "for an imaginary, vindictive, evil voice you're quite the comedian."

"_Here to help, Blue boy. Or hadn't you figured that out yet?"_

"I'd hardly call it helping; you seem content to torment me."

"_I'm not the tormentor here. Do you realise that you have such a screwed up head; you could practically drown in insanity? Only your precious training kept me in check, with your line of work, most people would go insane on their own but this grapefruit needed to be tortured to the brink of death to crack it. I don't often hand out praise but that's pretty impressive."_

Leo raised an eyebrow, "You're complimenting me?" he shook his head, "Which means I'm practically complimenting myself."

The voice chuckled, _"The only good compliments are your own compliments, just with less satisfaction."_

"_I know you want to ask, so ask."_

Leo nodded, the conversations were vague aloud but both parties – if you could actually classify them as such - understood with few words. "What would you do?"

The voice seemed to think about that for a moment, _"personally, I'd walk right up to his front door, kill a few dozen then make sure he was there, face to face, before I blow us both to smithereens."_

Leo smiled, the outlandish suggestion wasn't as simple as the voice made it out to be but it was a sound plan when ironed out better.

"_Or I'd take away his one and only precious toy with a good healthy honourable suicide. Either way, your family wouldn't approve."_

"But it would certainly keep them safe."

The voice agreed, _"But not happy."_

Leo straightened suddenly, realising that the voice didn't sound so malicious anymore but sounded like it actually cared about him.

"_I make the suggestion that you should get yourself killed and you think I care? You're totally messed in the head, pal."_

Leo smiled, "True."

He flipped open his cell, punching keys for the first number he had on redial, it rang and when the receiver picked up he was instantly hit with a cacophony of sounds. He could just make out the voice of Raphael.

"You still at home?" His words were fast, most likely matching the urgency of battle.

"Where else would I be? You sound busy." That didn't mean to sound so blasé, it was supposed to be a silent offer of assistance… To hell with it.

"Look, I'm on my way, you could use my help." He started towards the door.

Raphael suddenly sounded desperate. "Stay put, don't leave. These bastards ain't interested in us, keep your head down, got it?"

Leo frowned at that, he didn't answer his brother but kept the cell to his ear. What was he supposed to do? Stay inside for the rest of his life and hope that Saki didn't kill his family whenever they go for take-out?

Raphael didn't like the silence, "I mean it, Leo."

A desperate cry in the background startled them both, they recognised who it was immediately but Raphael confirmed it, "Donny!"

The line went dead and Leo bolted for the door.

* * *

He ran, sploshing through littered, soggy sewer pipes with the ease of a track runner on tartan track, it didn't bother him, he only had one goal, to reach his family and friends before they were all slaughtered.

Ok, so maybe 'slaughtered' was too harsh a word since he knew that Saki had no interest in them, but he knew how devious he was, he'd experienced it first-hand. If he couldn't get what he wanted, he didn't care who he hurt or how and killing his family would not aid him in achieving his goal. Even his own men suffered his wrath; he wondered who would want to be subservient to that? Maybe the Foot's own initiation scheme is to inflict torture as he had experienced, dull the mind to heighten the senses, only one small hurdle making them near robot perfect was that they bled.

No, he had no doubt in his mind that Saki would hurt his family when the opportunity presented itself, just to flush him to the surface. If he had a choice, he would still make the same call, the same choice he has always made all his life. His family came before him, their safety over his own, not matter how much they protested about it.

Leo smiled to himself, maybe he was getting better after all.

* * *

He could hear the fighting before he reached it, silently wondering how the place wasn't swarming with police by now. Pay offs were likely, Saki had money that matched the power he held, what with all of the buildings he was shuffled around in during his captivity, it didn't seem so far-fetched.

As he scaled the ladder to the roof he was pleased with himself, at least exhaustion wasn't an issue. When he reached the top his eyes widened at the sight, a quick body count and he knew they were all alive, all moving. Donatello was the only one grounded, blood flowing from beneath April's torn jacket as she pushed it against his side, her arm wrapped around him as she tried to haul him to his feet. Splinter stood with them, his own arm using a little more force to push Don up. From the looks of it, Don needed out and fast. Raphael and Michelangelo stood in front of them, a barrier from their enemies. Both sides had taken heavy blows, Raphael had a short gash above his eye, a graze down one arm consistent with being scraped along the floor at speed. His other arm had two slashes, light but no doubt painful. Michelangelo fared a little better, he only had a cut to his leg, he didn't let it bother him so it looked a lot worse than it actually was. April's cheek was red and swollen but other than that, she was ok. Splinter had no injuries that Leo could see, but his fur was covered in blood.

As for the Foot, Leo couldn't care but an assessment of the threat level was prudent. He could see that, of the twenty-one ninja, most had received some injury. That would make things a little easier at least.

They were wrangled into a corner, the Foot seemingly still on high alert even though they had the upper hand. That was probably due to the experienced Foot among them knowing exactly how dangerous the turtles could be even when cornered, even worse when they find out one of their brothers had been tortured for eight months and mounted a rescue mission. Leo would never want to revisit that moment, but he sure as hell wanted to be a fly on the wall just to see their faces when three turtles and a rat pummelled them into defeat.

One of the rear Foot ninja began to turn; Leo ducked down behind the brick edge of the rooftop, the enemy still within sight. The mask of this ninja was torn, blood seeping through the tear. Lifeless, covered eyeholes, mouth-less mask, a gloved hand tight around a katana.

_White sightless orbs, gnashing teeth, drool seeping from the corners, mixing with the blood. The gash hideous, a maggot filled gaping hole, claws reaching out for him…_

He shut his eyes tight, it's not real, never was, never will be. They're not monsters, they're human… And they can bleed.

He leaped from the ladder, landed deftly on the rooftop, swords drawn. Raphael and Michelangelo noticed him before his feet touched the ground, the Foot didn't. He brought himself up, reversed his swords so that they pointed behind him as he ran, at the last moment his fists slammed together, thrusting forwards as two ninja spun. As their headless bodies dropped to the floor, two more moved to take their place. Leo whirled on the spot, his right sword slashing upwards diagonally, opening the ninja's chest, his left coming down to drive his sword into the other's exposed neck.

When they fell, all hell broke loose.

* * *

A/N: I have to get back into to this, as well as my other stories, their completion is well overdue. I can't promise any updates at regular intervals or which stories will be updated, that is out of my hands me thinks. I can promise that I am making every effort to get these stories rolling again. My humblest apologies if this chapter is mediocre, I promise to improve.

If you've got this far, thank you so much for reading. It's much appreciated. xx


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own them, make no money from them, this is purely for fun.

A/N: Thank you to all those who have read my story and HUGE thank you to those who have reviewed! I hear giving feedback to individual reviews is frowned upon so I hope you guys know how much I appreciate it.

Here's a another chapter, it's a little rushed, I feel. Sadly my muse told me to end this chapter where I did so my apologies for the length, please don't blame me :P

Chapter 5.

He stared at the enemy, a mask of hatred and anger hiding the fear that he felt deep down. It was nothing unusual to him now; he had always been so brave, so fearless before. Now he lived with fear on a daily basis and it almost became a part of him if not for his family there to support him regularly. This was the first true confrontation with the Foot, the last a mere skirmish with a handful of ninja and his brothers fighting fit.

This time was different, his brothers were weakened, bleeding, a man down. The limited fighting skills that April possessed wasn't of any use in this situation, she would be better spent protecting Donatello. Splinter seemed fine but he was also defending his wounded son, allowing Raphael and Michelangelo to become the defensive wall in front of the three and picking off any ninja that broke through.

Raphael glared at Leonardo, blatantly enraged that his brother did not heed his warnings to stay away. He would argue with him later, scream at him for not following orders and leaving the lair without his explicit consent. Leonardo would return his own opinions on the matter, what he thought was best, swearing vehemently at him that his family was more important. That thought caused him to smile; the idea that the two brothers would exchange heated comments in a reversal of roles was ironic.

Michelangelo appeared surprised at first before smiling with a victorious grin; Leonardo didn't want to admit that he knew Mike would give that reaction. Of his brothers, Michelangelo seemed keen to have things return to normal as quickly as possible, with Leonardo appearing on the rooftop; it filled him with hope that things were doing just that.

Leonardo knew that that wasn't the case; he was drawing on everything he had to hold it together, using all of his mental energies to control the emotions threatening to capsize him. His body wasn't at full strength and even though he had spent months with his brothers in training, he knew that form and control wouldn't bear much weight in this fight. He simply didn't think he'd be able to focus on these methods and walk away unhurt. No, this was going to get ugly.

The Foot ninja turned to him, all of them; he wasn't expecting that. His brothers looked on in disbelief as they no longer seemed important, they were obviously still a threat and it was foolish of the ninja to turn their backs on them but the Foot didn't seem to care. This only confirmed what they all feared, Leonardo knew instantly what their orders were, and then he felt the fear creeping up again, like a snake spiralling around its prey. He stepped back, one foot on the ledge of the rooftop.

His brothers' stunned silence quickly abated and they growled, the grip on their weapons tightening and muscles tensing. Raphael and Michelangelo yelled and threw themselves into the crowd of ninja, not caring if they didn't see them coming or not. Some of the ninja couldn't turn in time, they dropped when a nunchuku wrapped around their head or a sai pierced their back.

Two ninja lunged forward, their weapons raised high, as Leonardo blocked them both he saw another ninja lunge from the side and tackle him to the floor. He kicked out as another came near and elbowed the first on the side of his head. Leonardo was grounded, fighting hard to find space to pull himself up but the ninja kept coming. As he kicked one away, another filled his place.

He could hear his brothers calling out, reassuring him that they would reach him, it drove him on, forcing him to keep fighting back. He could see through the forest of legs that his wounded brother was being removed gently from the rooftop, Splinter and April choosing the moment of distraction to get away. April tugged on Splinter's arm, pulling his unwilling father from the fray and focusing him on Donatello's needs.

He raised his arm to block a kick to his stomach and looked up in time to see another aiming for his head, he twisted but it wasn't enough, the glancing blow dazing him and forcing him to cry out. He reached up and grabbed the roof edge, pulling himself up until his body was bent over it, his face staring down at the alley below. He sent out more kicks, his katana long since removed from his hands. The last kick didn't hit as clear as he wanted it to, the movement jolting him forward so that his body now protruded over the ledge. He looked up and could see his brothers dealing with the group of ninja now hoarding him, whittling the numbers down. He felt someone grab his wrist and twist, yanking him back and trying desperately to prize him away from the ledge. He pulled back, wrenching his arm free and the movement was all it took to roll Leonardo over the edge. As he cried out, grappling for anything that would halt his fall, he felt arms clutching for him, all missing their mark, except one hand that managed to get a firm grip of his forearm. He returned the hold, using his hand to grab his saviours forearm and bracing as he slammed into the damp brick wall of the building.

Leonardo drew in copious amounts of air, uncaring of the effort the person above must be exerting to stop his fall. He could feel the pressure building on his arm, the shoulder joint threatening to pop from the awkward angle he had been in when he hit the wall. He looked up, ready to thank a brother for the rescue but only stared in horror as the rescuer was a Foot ninja. Leonardo watched as the ninja reached his other hand to grip further along his arm, his leg bent and pushing on the building ledge.

He might be crazy but that didn't make him a fool, he gave the ninja his other hand and together they worked to bring Leonardo back onto the rooftop. He clambered over the edge and dropped to his knees, looking around along the floor for his swords (or his enemies' swords, he wasn't bothered right now), but finding none. He looked up, expecting to find himself surrounded by Foot ninja; he was surprised when only one remained with him, his rescuer.

The ninja reached into his belt and pulled a small dart, Leonardo couldn't understand why he even bothered, surely he could see that the Foot were losing, their numbers now crumpled on the floor around him. What was he going to do? He had no chance of taking him from this rooftop even if he was successful in administering it.

A blade slipped under the ninja's chin and Leonardo followed the steel along its length, the hilt was familiar and the realisation brought a smile, so that's where his katana went. The green hand that held it so carefully, delicate but deadly and often underestimated, held firm. Michelangelo rarely used a katana, but his brothers knew he was just as dangerous with one.

"Drop it."

The ninja didn't comply at first but a slight flick of Mike's wrist changed his mind, the dart dropped to the floor as the man hissed with the pressure of the katana at his neck.

Raphael stood from his crouched position behind Michelangelo, having just dispatched the last of the Foot on the rooftop. He scanned the area one more time then silently walked towards Leonardo and pulled his arm to help lift him to his feet, taking a moment to steady his brother, he quickly checked to make sure he wouldn't fall back down. When he was satisfied, he kept his eyes on Leo, his orders clear.

"Let's get the hell outta here."

Michelangelo flipped the katana in the air, the blade coming to rest in his palm. He held the hilt towards Leonardo who took the sword with a grateful smile; Mike nodded back and spun his nunchuku, smacking the ninja hard across the back of his head.

As the last of the ninja dropped to the floor, Michelangelo scooped up the dart and followed his retreating brothers from the rooftop.

A/N: I rewrote this chapter three times, all different outcomes but with one constant. I wanted Mikey with a katana in his hand. Lol.

Thanks for reading xx


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still don't own them… It's such a shame.

A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed, added to favourites and read this story so far. You are so appreciated and I couldn't possibly thank you enough.

I'm sorry that it's taking so long to update my stories, my humblest apologies fair readers.

Oh, this chapter… I've been trying to finish this chapter for some time, I'm still not completely happy with it but if I post it then I have no choice but to progress the story. I'm trying to kick start my muse.

Hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

Retribution

Chapter 6

Trudging through the sewer tunnels had, so far, been a silent affair. Mike hoped it remained that way; he knew that they were safely distanced from any Foot patrols by now, but he just didn't want to push their luck. The tension seeping from his two older brothers, however, assured him that that silence would soon break and he didn't want to be around when it did.

They had managed to avoid any further contact with their enemy, only really having one close encounter that years of stealth training, (and a rather incompetent group of flunky ninja) had ensured they remained undiscovered. When they did finally drop below ground, Mike called ahead, eager to know of Don's condition and not really wanting to be surprised when they walked through the door. He was certain that his brother's injury wasn't life threatening, not seeing the wound itself but the strike that had caused it, ruled out a fatal blow. Don's reaction to it had been severe but only because of its location, they could all sympathise, their sides were far too sensitive and injuries always felt a lot worse than they truly were on those parts of their bodies.

Still, it was reassuring to hear Donatello's voice or, more accurately, the yelps and whimpers which were undoubtedly brought on by Splinter's stitching. Splinter seldom stitched delicately, they were all certain it was a punishment for the injuries frightening their father; and age only made it worse, his hands weren't as steady as they used to be. Each of the brothers silently hope another brother will do the stitching nowadays.

April had answered the cell, assuring them all that Don was indeed fine, if a little despondent that he had to be removed from the fray and his brothers. His wound would be uncomfortable and in need of bed rest for a while, which Donatello had groaned at loud enough for Mike to hear and chuckle his amusement.

When Mike felt the familiarity of home territory he smiled, eager to feel the warmth of the lair and wash away the dried blood on his body. His cuts had long since caked over, sealing themselves; they'd still need treating but he wanted to feel clean first. He wondered how Raph felt, knowing he had more slices than any of them. He had to be feeling the pain now that the adrenaline had long since worn off, not to mention the itching that dried blood always caused. His brother didn't seem too bothered by it though.

When Raph stopped, Mike let out a quiet sigh, _here we go._

"Mike," Raph said lowly, "Head home, we'll catch up."

He knew that tone and he certainly wasn't about to argue. He turned to Leo, gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and a comforting smile before slowly walking on. He listened for as long as he could, but it was obvious that Raph intended to wait, knowing how far was far enough before opening up his barrage on the older brother.

Once Raph knew that Mike was out of earshot, he spun on Leo and crossed his arms. "Well?"

Leo sighed, leaning back on the sewer wall, "Well what?"

Raphael stomped forward, closing the space between them. "Don't get smart with me, you know damn well what I'm talking about."

Toe to toe, they glared at each other for a long moment. Leo narrowed his eyes, clenching his jaw and held his brother's gaze.

Raphael mimicked the move, "Doesn't suit you bro'. Hissy fits are my deal, not yours."

"You're the one making an issue out of this, I don't see a problem." Leo broke the stalemate, turning his look away to the far wall.

Raphael smiled at the small victory, quickly controlling himself to continue his questioning. "You chose to stay at home yourself, you decided you couldn't tag along. I would've made you stay either way but I wanna know why you did it? Why'd you come out?"

Leo turned back, eyes wide. "Are you kidding me? You know why! I heard Donnie scream, I couldn't stay at home… Not after that."

"What? You think we can't handle yourselves without you?" Raph bristled. "Been doing it for a while now, Leo, we're pretty good at it."

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

Leo sighed, stepping out from Raph's overcrowding position and standing clear, staring down the tunnel. He let his shoulders drop, head tipping down wearily.

Raph didn't mean for that to hurt Leo, they all knew that his absence in the battlefield hadn't gone unnoticed and every fight only intensified the loss. The nightly searches had helped numb them, the determination to find Leo had all but eradicated the feeling of fighting as three. When he had been found, they still had to fight as a trio. Even with Leo safely home and back with them, he wasn't in any fit state to hold hot water, let alone be in a combat situation.

Raphael found his anger ebbing, "You haven't been topside for a while, a little taste of it doesn't mean you're ready. We were doing ok, not that we don't appreciate your helping but…"

He didn't want to say it. The truth hurts, no one likes the truth when pain always followed; but it needed to be said.

"You're a flight risk, you know better than any of us that that puts us in danger."

Leo spun, enraged, his hands fisting at his sides. "Am I that much of a threat to this family? Then why don't you just keep me locked up in my room for the rest of my life? Hell! You should pad it out so I can't hurt myself while you're at it!"

Raphael felt his gut wrench, "Don't twist my words, bro'." He stepped forward, once again closing the distance. "You're not crazy."

He reached up, gripping his brother's arms. "You ain't fighting fit either; and in case you didn't notice, you're target number one. Yeah, you took down four of 'em, but only 'cause they weren't ready for it. But those others? Two years ago, they wouldn't have been an issue, not for you. You have to know that, right?"

"I can handle myself," Leo whispered, although he intended it to sound more confident than it actually did.

Raph had had enough of the denial, "You know you can't, the last few days are proof enough of that."

Leo swatted his brother's arms away, shoving at his plastron. "I'm trying, damn it! What more can I do to prove that to you?"

"Stop lying to yourself, for a start!" Raph snapped back, keeping his distance this time. "You're pushing too hard and fast, you can't keep up! Hell, it wasn't all that long ago that you wanted me to take it slow. Well I am, you sure ain't!"

Leo shut his eyes tight, holding on as much as he could to keep the anger in check. "I'm sick of being the victim, Raphael! I'm sick of feeling like everyone I love is walking around on eggshells every time I step into a room! And no matter what I do, I can't change it!"

When he heard his brother's voice crack, Raph moved. He wasn't gentle, he never could be; reaching out and grabbing his brother's head in his hands, he brought it up to meet his gaze.

"Then let us help you," he pleaded softly, "We can't do that unless you tell us what you need. Stop pushing us away."

Tears brimmed Leo's eyes, his voice coming out as barely a whisper. "I don't know what I need. I don't know how to fix me, Raph. I'm not… I'm not pushing you away. I'm just trying to deal with 'crazy' the best I can."

Raph shook his brother, a small smile gracing his face. "You ain't crazy." He pulled Leo close, holding tighter when he could feel Leo returning the embrace. "Emotionally screwed up, yeah; but never crazy, bro'."

Leo's sigh spoke volumes, Raph lowered his voice to a whisper.

"We ain't perfect, none of us. I wouldn't know where to start either but, I know, I ain't giving up on you. We'll deal with this, one step at a time. When we know for sure that you're good, we take down Saki together, you and me."

Leo remained silent, his face buried in his brother's shoulder as he listened. These moments were a rare, cherished, comfort for him. It wasn't often that Raph would open his heart and lay it out for all to see, circumstances dictated these times and he welcomed them gladly.

Raphael sighed deeply, touching his cheek to Leo's head. "I'm sick of seeing you hurting, sick of having to watch and not having the power to heal you. I can't ever begin to know how you're even walking around and talking after everything you've been through, I know I would've given up." He felt Leo shift and tightened his grip, not willing to break the moment; he needed to finish what he had to say.

"Seeing you on that rooftop, seeing them clawing at you and trying to drag you away; I felt this pain in my chest, worse than I ever felt in my life. For one moment, I really thought I was gonna lose you all over again; that they'd take you away and this time we'd never find you." Raph swallowed the rising lump in this throat, shutting his eyes tight.

"I won't lose you again, even if I have to lock you up in the lair; I'm not letting you go until I think you're ready. The only way to do that is for you to kick my ass in a fight with that famous control of yours back in the game."

Leo huffed, "That'll never happen."

"Sure it will, give it time."

"Hasn't it been long enough? I'm still falling, Raphael."

"Then we'll be there to catch you." Raph said.

Silence fell between them, each taking a moment to breathe and control the emotions that threatened to overwhelm them. They remained close, Leo letting his brother almost completely support his weight. The coppery smell hit him, his mind only now registering and reminding him of his younger brother's wounds. He reluctantly pulled away, eyeing Raphael and scanning his body; the movement not going unnoticed by his wounded sibling.

"We should get going, you don't want to risk an infection with those cuts." Leo said softly.

"I ain't done yet, Leo." Raph replied, he backed up, turning sidelong and stared at the floor. Diverting his gaze from his brother would make this easier, "You gotta stop thinking about him, he's gonna keep messing with your head; and all the time you do, you're not gonna get over it."

Leo frowned, "Get over it?"

Raph grimaced, "Poor choice of words, I'm sorry." He placated quickly, "I didn't mean it like it came out, I just…" He threw his hands up mildly in frustration, struggling with the best way to speak his mind. "Since we got you back, the worst part has always been his face. All those other memories come and go; but his face is the one thing that gives you nightmares. Hell, you see him when you're awake."

Leo didn't need the reminder of how he almost killed his brother because of that face; how he had mistaken Raph for Saki… Again.

"Of course I do," Leo hissed, "He tortured me! He… He abused me, hurt me; and every single time his face was there! I can't simply forget that, there's no way I can _ever_ forget his face, it's ingrained into me, it's burned into my very soul, Raphael!"

Raph lunged forward, gripping Leo's arms and shoving him back into the wall. He drew in close, anger burning in his eyes. "He doesn't own you," he spat sharply.

Leo squirmed, unable to shift his brother's weight. "I have scars that would disagree with you on that."

Raph laughed viciously, "I've left a few scars on you over the years, Leo. You saying I own you too?"

"You never branded me, Raph. He did!"

"Yeah," Raph growled, "And I plan on repaying him for that."

Raphael reached out and grabbed the back of Leo's neck, his hand closing over the crosshatch of scars that stretched down to where his flesh met shell. He pressed lightly, as if his hand could conceal the marks and make them miraculously disappear.

_When it had happened, his family had no idea. Leonardo had hidden and spent the better part of an hour scrubbing at his neck, trying to scour the symbol away. When that didn't work, he'd resorted to taking a blade to it._

_When they finally found him, it wasn't a pretty sight. Leonardo sat, mumbling incoherently, his stained hands in his lap and the knife sitting alongside him; his whole upper body covered in blood._

Raphael shivered at the thought.

Leo snarled, smacking Raph's gentle hold away easily. With his body trembling and burning with a need to run, Leo held his stance as he, once again, felt his dignity put under a microscope. His pride had taken a battering, humiliation as familiar to him now as his own face. It always ignited the hatred in him, except the hatred had no immediate outlet, no focused enemy.

Which always led to Leonardo lashing out.

Raphael barely had time to avoid the blow, shifting his head to the side, he felt Leo's knuckles whisper over his cheek. He ducked, pivoted and avoided his brother's lunge as he reached out to grab for Leo's belt, fingers brushing and missing. Leo couldn't slow his move and ran into the wall, his body twisting to allow his side to take the brunt of the impact. He slumped down, his arm raking the semi-wet wall.

With the wind momentarily knocked out of his brother, Raph stepped forward quickly, coming up behind Leo's exposed back and bear hugging him to his plastron. With his side still towards the wall, Leo kicked out at the brick, the impact sending both of them off balance. As they crashed to the ground, Raph's grip loosened and Leo took the moment to wriggle free. He stood swiftly, spinning and glaring at his downed brother.

"Haven't I suffered enough?" He screamed, "I've had my honour taken from me, my dignity, my confidence. I have nothing but nightmares, hallucinations that cause me to hurt the ones I love, voices tormenting me in the silence. I've been degraded in ways I never thought possible! I don't need to see the pity in your eyes as well! Don't look at me like that! Just… Just stop looking at me like that."

The words tapered off into a whisper, his eyes flooded with tears. Once again, another similar pattern, another emotional outburst which always ended in weeping. Like a child.

He dropped, rather unceremoniously, to the floor, the rancid water splashing up around his legs. His head slumped and he whimpered, the sound causing Raph's chest to constrict.

"I'm not getting better," Leo muttered.

Raphael scrambled to his feet, scooting closer to Leonardo and tentatively holding out his hand. Leo eyed him warily, unsure which direction Raph would take.

"Take my hand, 'bro." Raph spoke softly.

Leo hesitantly complied, allowing Raph to pull him to his feet.

His younger brother smiled warmly, "Believe me, you're a lot better." Raph wrapped an arm around Leo's shoulder, guiding him along the tunnel and back towards the lair. "And you're wrong."

Leo looked around at his sibling, "Wrong about what?"

Raph squeezed Leo's shoulder gently, " I don't pity you, never have. Everything you've been through and overcome, makes me proud that you're my brother."

With so much more left unsaid between them, Raphael decided that the rest could wait. Right now, he wanted a shower, some food and time to think.

A/N: Whew! This is a long one… Leo and Raph sure had a chat there.

Thanks for reading. :)


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own the TMNT, I'm just writing harmless fan fiction about them. I'm still skint so obviously not making any money off of my stories._

_A/N: Thank you to all those who have reviewed, added to favourites and read my story so far. You are all wonderful for sharing your invaluable time with my scribbles._

_On with the show…_

Chapter 7.

Donatello wondered just what exactly Raph had said to their older brother in the sewers; the way they both entered the lair suggested that some barrier had been breached. Or, more accurately, another milestone had been passed.

He wouldn't ask them, their conversation had been a private one and, like the numerous chats that he and Leo shared, they would keep it that way.

Leo's choice as to when and whom he opened up to would always remain an isolated affair, the consequences of those moments generally bore good results and Don wasn't willing to break that progression.

With nothing better to do than lie on the sofa and watch the news, Don sighed dejectedly. When a hand fell on his shoulder, he tipped his head back and smiled up at his younger sibling.

"You look bored... And lonely. Want company?"

"Sure." he replied happily.

When the news grew tedious, Mike began flicking through the channels absently, barely paying them any mind. Don noticed and decided to break the silence.

"What happened out there?"

Mike sighed and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He proceeded to tell Don, in detail, of the moments when he was absent, both through pain and his removal from the battle. With wide eyes, he listened intently at his older brother's actions and those of the Foot.

"Well," he paused to think, gently rubbing his bandaged side. "We knew that it was a ploy to draw him out. They don't have very many other opportunities to force us to the surface."

Mike nodded, "Yeah, so it's pretty much confirmed that Shredder's gunning for him. The way that guy stopped him from falling only to try and drug him..." Mike fingered the dart in his hands, carefully avoiding the tip and staring at it with a frown.

Don raised an eye ridge at his normally jovial brother, reaching out to gently touch his hands. "What's bothering you?"

Mike sighed, letting his body slump. He looked at his brother, glancing briefly at Leo's closed door and then back again. "I just don't get it," the frustration in his voice urged Don to force a warming smile in comfort. "He put Leo through so much, spent so long hurting him and then decided to just kill him. We get him back, spend months rebuilding him and all of a sudden he's out to get my brother again. What's his deal?"

Don shifted to sit up, grimacing as he did and sucking in a breath. Mike reached out to help but he waved him off politely.

"If I had to guess, I'd say that with the time he spent with Leo, he became fixated on him. Obsessive and, dare I say it, infatuated with him. I can only imagine how difficult it was for our brother to hold up against such a continuous mental and physical onslaught, to even stay alive that long is impressive in itself." He tapped his chin, eyes darting around as if mentally mapping his thought patterns.

"Saki witnessed all of this personally; we know this through Leo's own words. The man spent hours of his time each day so focused on Leo that - and I'm only speculating here - but I think he was impressed with Leo. He always said no, always refused even under great duress. That most likely amazed and frustrated Saki, eventually leading him into a destructive outlet and, in trying to purge that feeling; he tried to wipe out the object of his fixation."

Mike simply stared, trying his hardest to understand Don's mental study of their enemy. Don continued, lost in his assessment.

"When we took Leo away from him, he had the time to think and, most likely gave up, believing Leo beyond help. As soon as he discovered that Leo hadn't been broken and that we'd repaired much of the damage, his fixation fell back into place; he's renewed his obsession with the realisation that he has a second chance to get what he wants."

Mike shook his head, sighing heavily. "That's deep, dude. I just thought the guy's a wacko."

Don smiled, "Yeah, that too."

...

Raphael knocked quietly on his Father's door, waiting patiently for authorisation to enter. Splinter's soft voice called out and he pushed it open, easing inside and bowing respectfully to his Sensei, before kneeling in front of the low table.

Splinter poured tea into the cup nearest Raph, gesturing toward it with his hand and resting back in waiting. Raphael took the cup, nodding his thanks and sipping quietly.

"Is something troubling you, my son?"

Raph gave him a half smile, shaking his head softly. "No Sensei, I just wanted to run a few things past you, get your opinion on some stuff."

Splinter nodded, "What kind of 'stuff'?"

"I've been thinking," Raph began carefully, "Don't get me wrong, Leo's doing great and all but... I was kinda hoping we could work him a little harder, give him something to drive towards, you know?"

Splinter remained expressionless, "His need to be whole again isn't enough?"

Raph shook his head, "He ain't focusing on that so much as trying to get rid of Saki, I think he's getting a little obsessed with the idea of payback."

"Ah," Splinter eased back, relaxing into a more comfortable position. "You feel that he is moving too quickly, I agree. What would you suggest then?"

"I think we need to distract him, throw so much at him that he doesn't have time to think about it. I've been planning a few ideas in my head, wanted to know if you think it'll work."

"What do you suggest?"

Raph nodded, suddenly eager. "Well, with Donnie down for a while, I thought maybe he could spend some time with Leo meditating, it might sound cruel but with Don hurt he might think less of Saki and more about us. Focus him in the right direction by having a constant reminder of why we need him in control, d'ya think that'll work?"

Splinter pondered that for a moment, finger tapping his knee, "I believe that it would be beneficial, although Donatello will not enjoy the prospect of extended meditation. You can join him in this endeavour as well; I would prefer that you rest for the week to allow your own injuries to heal suitably."

Raphael expected that; knowing after all these years the particular type of injuries that had them on mild rest, he knew his own were in that category.

"I'm willing to do that." He replied, "Which is part of the reason I wanted to speak to you. I was wondering if you and Mike would spend more time with him in the dojo, both of you are far better to give him what he needs than I am. Mike knows how to be serious, but he also knows how to lighten the mood and I think Leo needs to remember that he's training to improve, not go to war."

Splinter tipped his head slightly in curiosity, "His training is not for war, but for vengeance."

"You know what I mean," he replied quickly, "He's not gonna stop until he's put a sword in Shredder's gut, even if it means charging through the entire Foot clan."

"I understand," Splinter sighed, "He has suffered and wants to inflict that suffering on those that committed the act. His determination is unchanged and he will not relent if we were to tackle him directly, your suggestion is a good one, my son."

Raph smiled, "Alright, so we're good?"

The old rat laughed, "Yes, Raphael. It is a good plan, one I will help with as much as I am able."

"Okay," he replied, rising gently and bowing to his father. "I'll let the others know; is tomorrow morning's practice session too soon?"

"Inform Michelangelo that he is to attend with Leonardo tomorrow, we will begin as soon as possible."

Raphael acknowledged his father, smiling at his success and leaving Splinter to rest for the evening.

As he made his way across the expanse of their living area, he watched as his brothers laughed at something on the tv. Calling out to them, Mike turned in his seat, "Hey, what's up?"

"Where's Leo?" Raph whispered as he neared.

"In his room," Don responded, "Having a chat with April. She's pretty spooked by everything that's going on and wanted to talk to him about something."

"Okay," Raph replied, not worrying about the possibility of any interruption by their brother now that their friend had his attention. "I got a plan, I've already spoken to Splinter about it and he's in."

"What plan?" Don asked, eye ridge rising.

Raph grinned, "A good one. Listen up."

...

"Are you sure you're okay?"

April smiled, holding Leo close in an embrace. "I'm fine. Just a little freaked out by all this. I should be pretty used to my life being threatened but this is different, this isn't about me, it never is, but something worries me."

Leo pulled away, keeping his hands on her arms. "What's worrying you?"

She reached up, cupping her hand around his cheek. "You are, sweetheart. I'm so scared that this is hurting you, you've been through so much and I just... I need to know you're okay."

He reached up and covered her hand with his own, "I'm alright." He replied simply.

"Really? Because I don't see it."

Leo smiled reassuringly, allowing April to pry into his emotions as much as she wanted. "I'm not completely fine but I can hold out, he hasn't beaten me yet."

"I believe that; you're one of the strongest people I know. I've seen you overcome so much that most others would crumble, but that doesn't change the uniqueness of this situation. I just want to do all I can, fighting alongside you is out of the question, I'll only get myself killed, but I'm still here and I'm not your brothers. I can see it in your eyes, Leo. Something's bothering you."

Leo looked away from her, ignoring her attempt to lift his chin and sliding away from her touch. April wasn't blind, neither were his brothers but some things he was good at hiding. He didn't think that she saw it; most likely, she could understand his position, knew him that well and had enough instinct to guess.

April knew them _all_ too well, her attachment to them unbreakable, dedication unwavering. She could always see through them and in his case, she knew exactly what was bothering him.

"You're not going to lose them." She noticed him flinch, then he turned away from her. He didn't speak and she knew then that she had hit her mark. His head dropped and he idly scratched at his arm.

He sighed, "They'll be there to catch me."

April frowned, "Huh?"

"Something Raph said to me," he replied softly, "I said I was falling and he told me he'd be there to catch me. They won't let go of me and I'm afraid that it'll cost them dearly."

April tugged him towards the bed, the two sitting and quietly staring at the floor. The silence stretched before April spoke.

"Leo, I don't know how much they told you about the time they spent without you but... You need to understand something."

She twisted on the bed, pulling his shoulder so that he would face her. "They're holding you close because they can't lose you again, it nearly destroyed them. They knew you weren't dead, knew you were in pain and it hurt them every day that went by. They exhausted themselves and I even had Mike sleeping at mine more than here because he couldn't stand to be at home without you."

Leo looked away again, unable to meet her eyes at that revelation.

"It's not your fault," she insisted, "They just had to deal with things in their own way, but you need to know that they refused to give up. They got hurt, Raph was almost killed and even then, they kept going. They were relentless and I couldn't understand how they could keep it up, until Mike showed up one night crying."

Leo shuddered at the image, his mind already playing out the scene in his head. April moved closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close, soothing him with gentle strokes. "He had blood all over him, none of it his, he shook so hard that he couldn't hold the glass of water I gave him. I asked him what had happened and he just kept muttering your name, asking me why this was happening to him. He was so broken that, when Raph showed up, he started screaming at Mike and pushing him around. I couldn't get in the way, not the best idea when two ninjas are brawling, so I just yelled, shouted until my throat was raw. Raph and Mike were going at it and they were so angry, I thought for sure that one would kill the other until they just shoved each other hard and both dropped to the floor."

The sad expression on Leo's face caused April to pull his head to her shoulder. "It was frustration, Leo. After so long, something had to give. It didn't stop them hugging each other whilst they cried; just don't tell Raph I told you that." She laughed softly and was pleased to hear a small laugh in return. She knew he was smiling, even though she couldn't see it. "You see, they're your brothers. They'd die for you just like you would for them, and let's not forget, they're trained ninjas, like you. This isn't going to end with any of you dying, not if you all work together."

"It's still my fear, April." Leo whispered. "I can't let them suffer, not like I a... Did."

April overlooked his correction, knowing completely that he wasn't ignoring or hiding his suffering from anyone. He was merely attempting to prove that he was trying and working hard to carry on as normal, she was so proud of him for that.

"I trust you guys to not go in half-cocked; when you do decide that it's the right time, you'll have one of those brilliant plans of yours to pull everyone through it." She kissed the top of his head, resting her cheek on it for a short time before pulling back and holding his neck. He leaned into her hold, silently accepting her motherly affections and wanting so much to stay that way.

A soft knock at the door broke the spell; Leo stood and walked towards it, opening to the face of Raphael. He held a blank expression, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder.

"Dinner's ready."

April appeared behind Leo, smiling brightly. "Great, I'm starving." Hooking her arm around Leo's, she gently urged him out and followed closely behind Raph.

Sensing the trepidation coming from the two brothers, she picked up speed until her other arm hooked on to Raph's. "I hope there's plenty to go around, or you'll be going hungry."

Taking a moment to watch his arm being stolen away, Raph chuckled, "Firstly, when has Mike never made enough?"

April nodded, "Valid point. And second?"

Raph smirked, "In what strange world are we living in if you think you're gonna beat me to the food?"

April pouted playfully before smiling and pulling Leo closer, "Because there's such a thing as chivalry and Leo here has more of it than you, he'll beat you with a spoon whilst I tuck in."

Leo started to chuckle, enjoying the banter and obvious distraction. By the time they reached the kitchen, all three of them were laughing so hard that they received strange looks from the rest of the family already seated at the table.

_A/N: I am SO not happy with this chapter, but it'll have to do. I can't rewrite this anymore than I have and it's here to stay. Stubborn muses… I should point out that, as a work of fiction, with minimal research on fixation and obsession; everything that Don said is purely me guessing from what I dug up and filling in a lot of blanks. I have no idea if Saki would indeed obsess in such a fashion but I needed to show why he wanted Leo so badly and this seemed like the most logical option. And I don't think that April suitably put across her point here, I tried but it didn't come out anywhere near what I wanted. Again, not happy with this chapter._

_Thanks for reading x_


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